Jocelyn Flores
killpop Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴I know you so well, so well
Darling, I can do better than he can
I′ve been pretty

I know you're somewhere, somewhere
I′ve been trapped in my mind, girl, just holdin' on
I don't wanna pretend we′re somethin′, we're nothin′
I've been stuck thinkin′ 'bout her, I can′t hold on

I'm in pain, wanna put 10 shots in my brain
I've been trippin′ ′bout some things, can't change
Suicidal, same time I′m tame
Picture this, in bed, get a phone call
Girl that you fucked with killed herself
That was this summer and nobody helped
And ever since then, man, I hate myself
Wanna fuckin' end it, pessimistic
All wanna see me with no pot to piss in
But niggas been excited ′bout the grave I'm diggin′
Havin' conversations 'bout my haste decisions
Fuckin′ sickenin′, at the same time
Memories surface through the grapevine
'Bout my uncle playin′ with a slip knot
Post-traumatic stress got me fucked up
Been fucked up since the couple months they had a nigga locked up

I'll be feelin′ pain, I'll be feelin′ pain just to hold on
And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb
I′ll be feelin′ pain, I'll be feelin′ pain just to hold on
And I don't feel the same, I′m so numb

I know you so well
Darling, I can do better than he can

I've been pretty
I know you so well

Overall Meaning

The song "Jocelyn Flores" by Killpop is a tribute to a young girl named Jocelyn Flores who was close to the rapper Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy, popularly known as XXXTentacion. The song deals with mental health, suicide and depression. The lyrics "I know you so well, so well. Darling, I can do better than he can. I’ve been pretty" reveal the singer's intimate knowledge of Jocelyn and his conviction that he can treat her better than anyone else. These lyrics may also suggest that Jocelyn was in a toxic relationship.

The singer feels trapped in his mind, unable to escape his thoughts about Jocelyn's suicide. He talks about his own suicidal thoughts: "I'm in pain, wanna put 10 shots in my brain." He also mentions Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) related to his incarceration and memories of his uncle's suicide. The song shows how depression and suicide are complex issues, and how they can affect not just the person struggling but also those around them. The singer's feelings of helplessness and pain are palpable, as he tries to hold on to the memories of his loved ones while struggling with his own mental health.

Line by Line Meaning

I know you so well, so well
I have a deep understanding of your character and personality

Darling, I can do better than he can
I am confident in my ability to treat you better than your current partner does

I’ve been pretty
I have been doing well in life and enjoying success

I know you’re somewhere, somewhere
I am aware that you exist in a certain place, even though I am not physically there

I’ve been trapped in my mind, girl, just holdin’ on
I have been dwelling on my thoughts and emotions, struggling to find a way out of my mind

I don’t wanna pretend we’re somethin’, we’re nothin’
I do not desire to create a false image of our relationship, which is essentially meaningless

I’ve been stuck thinkin’ ‘bout her, I can’t hold on
I have been consumed by thoughts of a specific person and am struggling to cope with those thoughts

I’m in pain, wanna put 10 shots in my brain
I am experiencing intense emotional pain and have contemplated ending my own life

I’ve been trippin’ ‘bout some things, can’t change
I have been troubled by certain issues that are beyond my control

Suicidal, same time I’m tame
Although I am considering suicide, I am also remaining calm and in control of my actions

Picture this, in bed, get a phone call
Imagine a scenario where I am lying in bed and receive a call that changes everything

Girl that you fucked with killed herself
The girl you were intimate with has taken her own life

That was this summer and nobody helped
This tragic event occurred during the summer and no one provided any assistance or support

And ever since then, man, I hate myself
Since that incident, I have developed a deep hatred towards myself

Wanna fuckin’ end it, pessimistic
I feel a strong desire to end my own life and have a negative outlook on the future

All wanna see me with no pot to piss in
Everyone seems to delight in the prospect of me being poor and destitute

But niggas been excited ‘bout the grave I’m diggin’
People are eagerly anticipating my death and the grave that will be dug for me

Havin’ conversations ‘bout my haste decisions
Others are discussing and scrutinizing the impulsive choices I have made

Fuckin’ sickenin’, at the same time
This is deeply disturbing to me, but I cannot ignore it

Memories surface through the grapevine
Past memories resurface through rumors and hearsay

‘Bout my uncle playin’ with a slip knot
These memories involve my uncle, who apparently engaged in a dangerous activity involving a slip knot

Post-traumatic stress got me fucked up
I am suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and it is severely affecting me

Been fucked up since the couple months they had a nigga locked up
My emotional state has been deteriorating since I was imprisoned for several months

I’ll be feelin’ pain, I’ll be feelin’ pain just to hold on
I will continue to experience immense pain and suffering, but I will persevere and endure it

And I don’t feel the same, I’m so numb
I do not feel the same way I used to, as I have become emotionally numb and detached

Contributed by Mackenzie W. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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