Savage Texts That Remind You Why Your Ex Should Remain Your Ex
Andrew Adams
Updated on March 15, 2026
Don’t do it, people.
Put that phone down and trust us: Do NOT send that text message to your former significant other.
Why not, you may somehow be wondering?
Consider the following exchanges as evidence for why this is always (repeat: always!) a bad idea…
Bitch? Please.
1Nice try, loser.
Feel Free to Call Again
2Just don’t expect a response.
See, That’s Why I Dumped You
3Do you get it now?
Take Your Poetic Nonsense…
4…. and shove it.
But You’d Strangle Hitler and Bin Laden?
5Right?!?
Too Little. Too Late.
6Too awesome of a response.
Also, the Scum at the Bottom of the Earth
7That also reminds me of you.
That’s Not a Dream
8It’s a nightmare.
Google Translate is Awesome!
9But you suck.
Cutest Eff You Ever
10And also the greatest.
Single AF
11And so well rested.
Ouch!
12Our groin hurts just looking at this.
I Was Gonna Get It Framed Anyway
13Because it makes me so happy.
Just Walk Away Now, Dude
14You’ve lost.
Blockbuster Burn!
15Give the chain a break, will ya?!?
You Misspelled My Name
16Please go away forever.
You May Wanna Pack a Bathing Suit
17It’s gonna be hot there.
Well, I Am Good in Bed
18But you’ll never experience that again.
BURN!
19Almost literally, you’ve been burned.
You Must Be Thinking of Your Other Girlfriend
20A-hole.
Thanks!
21I needed that laugh.
Note the Timestamp
22Just in case you didn’t get it at first.
Yup, I’m Dead
23Don’t memorialize me. Just move on.
I Guess I Failed
24But I’ll keep trying.
Just Call Me Angry Spice
25Actually, don’t call me at all.
Satan?
26Is that you?
Don’t Answer!
27It’s a trap!
