What Does "I Need Space" Really Mean?

Hey guys, my name is Marni and I am a professional wing girl and owner of The Wing Girl Method.  Which means it’s my job to tell you tons of secrets about women so you can be successful with them ;-)

So, what do girls really mean when they say they “need space” from you? Oy. This is when girls can get really annoying. Because sometimes when us girls say we need space it’s because we actually want to get some space from you. And other times it means, “Please don’t give me space. Prove to me that you love me.”

Don’t you ever wish that women would just man up and say what they really mean!!!??? Of course you do. But as a woman, I know this day will not come and that if you want to win with women you have to learn to understand their subtle communication techniques.

I’ve laid out the three reasons a woman may say she needs space, as well as tips to decipher what the woman in question is actually saying to you.

Reason 1: She wants to break up with you but not hurt your feelings

Needing space is the polite way of saying that I’m going to need space for about two weeks so that it will soften the blow when I break up with you.

Reason 2: She wants to gauge your feelings for her

Requesting space is her subtle way of getting a gauge for how you really feel about her. If she tells you that she needs space and you actually give her the space she may think you don’t really like her and get upset. What she really wanted was for you to fight a little harder and prove that you actually want to be with her.

Reason 3: She needs space because she needs a break

This is when her saying "I need space" actually means she needs some space and time for things to calm down so that she can think. So the real question is, how can you know which “I need space” definition to pay attention to? 

Well that’s for you to think about in terms of what’s been going on in your relationship. If she has been seriously distant for the past couple of weeks, is not returning texts as quickly as she did in the past, is cancelling plans or does not want to get intimate, these are pretty big signs that her need for space is just the slow route to a break up.

If she’s been asking you about what you want or you haven’t been to clear with her about your intentions and long-term goals, then she’s most likely trying to get you to see her value and give her more attention. She wants to be reassured that you like her and want to be with her. She clearly needs more information from you regarding where you are at. Pulling back and “threatening” an end to what you have may be the only way she knows to get an answer.

If you guys really care for each other but you’ve both been distant and fighting and can’t seem to remember the good in what you have but desperately know it’s there, then her request for space is a real one. Together, you need to define what space actually means for the two of you and what you’re both hoping to gain from this space. It’s a team effort.

Even though needing space can mean a myriad of things when coming from a woman’s mouth, the best thing you can do is not be freaked out by these words. Evaluate your situation, take a breath and act accordingly.